Most men don't take the time to pause and ask this question. All too often the first response upon finding out that your wife has cheated on you is to lawyer up and start the divorce proceedings. I don't think this is a good idea. Now let me be clear, if she has served you with divorce, protect yourself and employ a lawyer's services. If she hasn't then I suggest you take your time. You have your entire life to be divorced. A few things to consider:
1. Lawyers are expensive! You must be 100% positive that this is the road you must take before giving a lawyer your money. They will charge you for every minute of consultation and for every piece of paper they file with the courts.
2. Lawyers are not marriage counselors! They are paid to protect your interest in a court of law and that's about it. They might be great people; even a trusted friend but they are first and foremost a lawyer. They are going to process the law and that's about it.
3. Lawyers have processed hundreds of cases just like yours! Do not expect them to have true empathy for your particular plight, most have become numb to the human factors involved.
If your wife is not talking to a lawyer then you have time and options. Take time to clear your head. Before running to a lawyer ask yourself if you want a divorce. If the answer is no or you're unsure then take your time! It will be much harder to reconcile with your wife once the lawyers are involved.
If your wife is talking to a lawyer then you have no other choice in the matter you must protect yourself and get a lawyer. Here are a few things to consider when choosing one:
1. Cost! Yes this is negotiable and cash is king. Don't be afraid to ask for the cash discount. If they are unwilling to work with you, move on to the one that is.
2. Are they worth it? Does the lawyer remember your name and keep appointment times? Or are you stuck in the lobby 20 minutes after your meeting was supposed to start and find yourself explaining the situation to him/her once again once you're let in? Walk away from the second one.
3. What do they specialize in? Not all divorce lawyers are the same. Some specialize in helping men specifically and these are the ones you should seek out. Let's face it guys, when it comes to divorce court we get the short end of the stick here. It will help to have a lawyer who is specifically geared to helping men.
My hope for you is that you are afforded the time to avoid the lawyers altogether and have the chance to reconcile with your wife. Remember you have your whole life to be divorced and one chance to not be. So take your time and evaluate the situation and remember to ask yourself the real question at hand. Do I want a divorce? If you have cleared your mind from the anger, most of you will answer this question with a resounding NO! To that end you have a rough road to travel but once you get to the end of it, you and your wife will be better for it
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